Mr King used to take us for 4th/5th year CSE Chemistry. One fine day in the shiny new science block he was teaching us about the properties of phosphorus. This was carefully kept in a jar oil and treated with the respect it commanded.

Instead of cutting a slice off under the oil like he had in previous lessons, this day he chose to remove the entire piece with a pair of tongs. He held it up for all the class to see saying:- "And class we all know what happens to phosphorus when it is taken out of oil/water"

Unfortunately for him and to the amusement of the class, before he had chance to finish the sentence the (rather large) piece of phosphorus did what phosphorus does best and burst into flames. In a blind panic he dropped it to the nice shiny plastic tiled floor where it continued to flare. If anyone ever says "trust your instincts" bear this tale in mind because it will make you think twice.

As it was burning away at the floor he "instinctively" stamped on it to put it out, at which point his 70's style plastic teacher shoes also burst into flames. Amid much screaming and laughing he managed to get his shoe off (which subsequently melted into a small pool of black liquid) set off the fire alarm and evacuate the class. After the fire brigade had been and done its stuff a rather red-faced Mr King emerged from the science block to take us back in. All in all a total hoot.

After some investigation it was found that the entire batch of phosphorus was faulty and the remainder was destroyed in the woodland at the far end of the playing fields. The moment the phosphorus flared up will live with me forever as will the look of sheer terror on Mr Kings face as he realised what was happening. This story has been regularly been used as an example of "looks of terror" over the years and I'm sure will do for many years to come. Memorable point :- Someone (possibly Michael Groom "Bruno") looking over the desk and saying "Sir, your shoe is on fire"

Comment by Paul Fillingham

If I recall correctly, Mr King possessed more than a passing resemblance to slant-mouthed DJ Jonathan King. I also remember that the girls in our group used to deliberately set out to make him blush by chatting him up. Susan Rainsford was one culprit and the poor man used to go as red as a beetroot once they started.

Looking back, both our chemistry teachers were a pretty ineffectual really and it's easy to see why I always used to imagine Mr King and Mr Farr as the dynamic duo - Batman and Robin. I only wish I had kept those drawings of them from my school rough-book.

Email your memorable teacher gaffs to info@dreamtargets.com

Email

Copyright - Paul Fillingham
Last update - 12 November, 2001